The Book of Proverbs has always been considered a book of ancient wise sayings. In recent years, I have heard some said that many of these sayings are irrrelevant for today or not understood. I must agree and disagree with their conclusion.

• NOT UNDERSTOOD

  • Yes, the imagery can be foreign to modern day, and yes, they can be irrelevant if you hold a secular worldview, but if you dig deeper into these pithy sayings, you will find that they are more pertinent than much of modern day psychology.

  • This book’s psychology is based on wisdom - fear of the Lord

  • Other psychologies of today are based on

    • sex

    • personality

    • behaviour

    • power

    • meaning and purpose

    • relationships

    which all deal with the “outer” human, not the “inner” core of humanity.

  • To me, these other psychologies are so narrow and partial in comparison to the psychology based on wisdom.

• Irrelevant

  • These pithy sayings are only irrelevant if you come from a secular worldview.

  • The first chapters of Proverbs says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom…”

    • Without that awe and respect for the Lord and His precepts, there is no wisdom

    • Wisdom hits the soul of man whereas psychology hits the superficial emotions and intellect

    • Wisdom endures and changes character whereas psychology only helps the present circumstance and changes emotions or behaviour

Over the course of the next 24 days (24 verses), I hope to illustrate this by taking one verse from Proverbs 18, and sharing some thoughts on the wise psychology behind it.

In fact, I would say that one verse contains the equivalent of at least one book on modern day psychology or self-help. I will share highlights of my thoughts on the verse but invite you to share your insights on the verse as well.

Day1 He who is estranged seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment.

Day2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Day3 When wickedness comes, contempt comes also; and with dishonor comes disgrace.

Day4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a gushing stream.

Day5 It is not good to be partial to a wicked man,or to deprive a righteous man of justice.

Day6 A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth invites a flogging.

Day7 A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to himself.

Day8 Proverbs 18:8 (RSV) The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Day9 He who is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.

Day10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

Day11 A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall protecting him.

Day12 Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility goes before honor.

Day13 If one gives answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

Day14 A man’s spirit will endure sickness; but a broken spirit who can bear?

Day15 An intelligent mind acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.

Day16 A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men.

Day17 He who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

Day18 The lot puts an end to disputes and decides between powerful contenders.

Day19 A brother helped is like a strong city, but quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

Day20 From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

Day21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Day22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.

Day23 The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly.

Day24 There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

1. Proverbs 18:1 (RSV) He who is estranged seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment.

It is interesting that

• it is only someone who has parted company from you, or who is unfriendly, pursues unsound conclusions,

• not someone who is angry or vengeful or criminal.

  It is someone who is hurt.

  Their words and actions need to be considered as coming from a hurt heart or fearful heart, not a receptive heart. They were once brothers/sisters but left the fellowship because of hurt feelings, attack against character, or loss of emotional or spiritual safety.

  And without that fellowship and acceptance, they will take a statement opposing you,

  • not because of sound reasoning, but because of hurting heart.

  I can see this clearly happening in the fellowship of the church. We hear of how someone hurt someone else, intentionally or unintentionally, and they either leave the fellowship to find another church or they just stay home and not go to church at all.

  When one destroys another’s character or breaks their spirit, the hurt is deep. It is deeper than can be expressed with sound reasoning and so they express themselves with unsound reasoning.

  So you hear statements like,

• “I am overcome with anxiety” or

• “I no longer find the church relevant” or

• “I cannot believe that any more” or

• “That is not the way I see it”or

• “After having done that, he should not be in a leadership role”.

• And, since COVID isolation, some have let fear stop them or they take an extreme stand on vaccination as opposed to true moral issues such as euthanasia, abortion, marriage, sexual promiscuity, etc .

• As mentioned above, this touches the social issues of today as well.

• Fluid sexual expression versus fixed biologically determined sex,

• Government control versus freedom from government control,

• and the list could go on.

All of these issues take one side and express it to the extreme, not listening to the heart of the other in these nuanced areas.

The result is parting of company,

• a hurt heart, and

• unsound judgements/decisions.

Prayer

Lord, free us from this so we can see and listen to the heart of our brother or sister, hurt or not, and realize there is a sound solution in between the two extremes.

You have shown this through Your Son, Jesus, who told his disciples to listen to the words of Moses as expressed by the Pharisee leaders but not to do what they did.

In other words, hear your brother, but do not go to the extremes that your brother may be expressing.

Give us Your love for our brother who is estranged and walk with him through his pain, even when he is showing “unsound judgment”.

We are no better than he in some areas of judgment and need Your grace and mercy as much as he does.

Proverbs 18:2 (RSV) A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

This verse can be related to the topic discussed under Day 1.

• Do we listen to what another is saying or do we just wait our turn so we can express our opinion?

• Or maybe we don’t wait at all. We just jump in to express our opinion.

Now that is not to say we should keep silent and not express our thoughts.

There is a difference between expressing one’s thoughts and expressing one’s opinion.

It is the spirit in which it is said. Expressing one’s thoughts in a spirit of openness and exploring leaves the door open for others to speak.

And when they do, you listen.

Whereas expressing an opinion has an air of challenge or pride with it. It is as though one challenges others to say anything against it.

• It leads to argument, not discussion.

• It leads to establishing, identifying, and drawing a line to separate into two camps - “them” and “us”. There is no common understanding.

  This is foolishness.

Unfortunately, it takes two mature personalities to lead in a discussion with openness but if only one party wants to express an opinion as a challenge, there is no room for discussion.

The result is argument and division whether the other party wants it or not.

This leads to foolishness.

Proverbs 18:3 (RSV) When wickedness comes, contempt comes also; and with dishonor comes disgrace.

How is contempt manifest?

• Through differing opinions.

• And division of camps into them versus us.

  And establishment of armies to hurt “them”.

It comes when one creates a victim mentality and, feeling hurt, blames the other whether rightly or wrongly.

It comes when one acts upon the belief that they are masters of their own choices and life.

How? Anyone who is hurt by wrong doing has a choice.

They can either stand against the wrong doing or show contempt for the other.

This signals who is their god. They can either remove themselves from the influence of the wrong doer, or give their hurt feelings to God and let Him heal through the act of forgiveness and grace.

This signals that God is their god, not themselves.

Proverbs 18:4 (RSV) The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a gushing stream.

Deep waters have always had the connotation of evil, or being disorganized, when stated in Scripture.

• The Psalms uses this connotation all the time.

• If this is true, then this verse would not refer to the depth of wisdom in a man’s words but it would mean that

  • words of a man’s mouth are meant to drown you, or to

  • discredit you, or to

  • belittle you.

Whereas wisdom refreshes the individual to whom it is spoken and it comes from a different source - fountain or a stream.

Proverbs 18:5 (RSV) It is not good to be partial to a wicked man,or to deprive a righteous man of justice.

One should not give preference to the ideas of someone who comes from a self centred belief.

How much of the political activism of our day comes from this base?

How much of our present days academia comes from the same base which says we can do it on our own human understanding, get rid of God.

The last phrase of this verse, connected to the above concept, makes one wonder. If you do show partiality to wickedness (self rightness), you will, unintentionally or intentionally, deprive a righteous or innocent man (one who follows the precepts of God) of justice.

If one deprives a righteous man of justice, then you open the door to further division, anger, and injustice. It is the law of nature.

There is always a cause and effect, a consequence to the decision you have followed. It is the natural consequence of not following the justice of God.

Proverbs 18:6 (RSV) A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth invites a flogging.

Once again the proverb is talking about the difference between argument and discussion.

But this time the words are fighting words.

• Words that hurt.

• Words that divide.

Division and injustice comes from those words spoken.

• Words cut deeply.

They may seem truthful or full of “rightness” but they can destroy people once spoken. Such words are the words of a “fool”.

How often do these words make one feel so angry they make one want to beat the other up (flogging).

• Or shoot them as assassins do.

• Or rail against them.

Proverbs 18:7 (RSV) A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to himself.

Who is to blame for someone’s down fall but he himself.

Give a foolish leader enough time and he will destroy himself. Unfortunately, because of his influence, he will take many others down with him. That is what hurts the most.

It is the same with a godless society.

Once they start down the road of foolish laws contrary to the laws of God, reality, and creation, they will become ensnared in them and ultimately ruined.

What is foolishness according to Proverbs?

The opposite of wisdom is the answer.

Then what is the definition of wisdom?

It is the fear of the Lord, His precepts, His commandments, His Spirit.

Therefore, anyone who does not follow the Lord, or goes contrary to His precepts is, by definition in the Proverbs, a fool.

Proverbs 18:8 (RSV) The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Gossips are addictive, sweet, and hurtful. They all start with the question, “Have you heard about...”

And if the recipient says “No”, the gossipers expression makes the recipient feel like a fool or outsider.

Gossip is a secret shared with everyone one at a time.

It does not care about sharing the truth.

It cares about one up manship.

And the recipient takes the gossip as one who is privileged and “in the know”.

There is a sense of belonging and pride when gossip has been shared by someone and then shared with someone else.

It is this sense of belonging and pride which hits the “inner parts of the body” or spirit and conscience.

And the result further searing of one’s conscience.

And what is the result of a seared conscience?

Lessened ability to hear the voice of the Lord.

Proverbs 18:9 (RSV) He who is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.

Laziness has many excuses today.

Such phrases as, “I’ll never get a house or a good career or feel fulfilled, so why bother.” Seems to be the source of not working today.

One of our past neighbours told us bluntly he never intended to pay off the large mortgage on his house through work. He was going to wait for his parent’s inheritance.

And then he added that many of his generation thought the same.

Is this another stepping stone to society’s self destruction as stated in this verse?

Proverbs 18:10 (RSV) The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

What is in a name?

The significance of a name was weighty and powerful in times past. Living the name of the Lord means

• He is the one I follow,

• I pattern my life after,

• I worship,

• I call my master.

You may call upon the name of any powerful leader of our day, or you may call upon the name of anyone in the past whom you admire and follow, but are they sufficient to met all the situations you will meet in life?

Probably not.

Whereas the name of the Lord is strong, safe, and satisfying.

It will hold you through all circumstances.

Pattern your life after God.

Proverbs 18:11 (RSV) A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall protecting him.

A man who is wealthy thinks he is protected by it, not by the precepts and wisdom of God.

This verse compares the man who relies on his wealth in contrast to the man of verse 10 who relies on God.

It amazes me how wealthy societies build more security and safety nets around their lives.

It may not be walls today, but it is

• security systems,

• insurance,

• guards,

• high fences,

• governmental assistance and the like.

But when the wealth is gone or when one’s health is gone or when he faces death, his protector is useless.

Whereas the righteous man (be he wealthy or not) who finds his fortress in the strong tower of God’s precepts and principles maintains his protection, his sanity, his purpose, his meaning, his joy, and his “wealth”.

Proverbs 18:12 (RSV) Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility goes before honor.

Being haughty, in our culture, is not admired but it is sometimes considered a sign of a potential leader.

If this is true, then their leadership is doomed to fail according to this verse.

What’s the difference between being haughty and being assertive?

The spirit in which things are being presented.

He who is haughty has this spirit of self aggrandizement

Whereas he who is assertive has a spirit of care and concern for others and reality or truth.

A haughty person can speak eloquently and with caring words, but it is the underlying, nonverbal spirit which exposes him as being superficial and unwise.

• He twists words to make him sound acceptable

• When questioned, he does not have answers, just more empty words

An assertive person can speak proud words and words that hurt, but it is the underlying, nonverbal spirit which shows he cares in a deep and wise way.

Proverbs 18:13 (RSV) If one gives answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

How many times have I expressed my opinion and provided my answer before hearing all sides to the issue.

When all sides have expressed their concerns, the group decision is either more complete and inclusive or more banal and unhelpful.

It all depends upon the group dynamics and the desire for power of some individuals in the group.

Proverbs 18:14 (RSV) A man’s spirit will endure sickness; but a broken spirit who can bear?

A man’s spirit can endure sickness but a broken spirit he cannot endure.

I have seen this truth played out over and over again in palliative care.

This truth states that the suffering from a terminal physical illness can be overcome and endured,

BUT a denied, neglected, crushed spirit cannot ....

Herein lies the true reason for the requests for physician killings....

• spiritual denial, or

• spiritual neglect or

• conscious killing of one’s spirit.

Canada must be full of such people because of the high percentage of people seeking MAiD.

What a mission field!

Proverbs 18:15 (RSV) An intelligent mind acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.

These are two interesting phrases juxtaposed together. At first glance they seem to be saying the same thing but on closer examination, they are not.

The first phrase talks of an intelligent, memorizing mind that just accumulates knowledge and then regurgitates it back.

There is no examining of the facts or reflecting upon the knowledge to see if it rings of enduring truth or not.

Or if it fits with universal reality.

The past educational system was accused of doing this so it is being replaced by teaching our children to learn, and how to question.

Unfortunately, they are not guiding them to reflect upon universal or enduring truths but their own childlike view of how the world works.

This basis can be wrong just as the rout memorizing can be wrong.

Whereas the second phrase uses the verb “seeks” as opposed to the verb “acquires” used in the first phrase.

When knowledge is acquired, you must seek to see how it fits with established truths.

• This requires reflection and a base of eternal values used to compare it with.

• This process takes a lifetime but a child’s education must guide them in how to start this process.

Let me give a personal example.

Going through medical school needs an acute mind to acquire all the information rapidly thrown at you. A good memory and excellent acquisition skills are needed. It can take all your energy just to keep up with it.

There is no time to reflect upon it.

I found I had to take my Sundays off so I could come up to breathe.

As a result, I was never the one with top marks on exams. But just taking one day per week to reflect on other things gave me the ability to look at the information shared more truthfully.

The result.

Half of it was

• facts and concepts which were not proven but only theories, or

• facts which later on were no longer relevant, or

• based upon the errant human perspective of life.

If I had not taken some time to use my listening “ear” to what was being taught, I would not have been able to “seek knowledge”.

I would not have been able to discern what was good and what was garbage.

It is interesting some forty years later when my medical class holds a reunion. More and more fellow physicians had

• reflected upon the medical information,

• seen the superficiality of some,

• seen the narrow world view presented through it

and become more mature in their spirit.

It became blatantly evident when one physician shared research on current topics like gender fluidity, euthanasia, and public health issues. Her presentation seemed superficial, immature, and only partially true.

My fellow classmates showed the maturity of years of practice in the pursuing discussion.

The discussion revolved around eternal truths (wisdom) based on “reality” more than what the scientific “facts” said.

It took them a life time in medicine to full reflect and “seek”.

And what did they find?

• Wisdom which guides and fills the soul.

• Wisdom which stands the test of time.

• Wisdom which rings true and provides peace to one’s inner being.

The “scientific facts” which countered wisdom were seen as nothing but chaff which the wind blows away.

Seek the knowledge of wisdom.

• Proverbs 18:16 (RSV) A man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before great men.

Superficially, one could think that giving a gift is the same as bribery. And this can be true.

Jesus himself referred to the shrewd man who forgave others the debt owed to his former master. His master had fired him so he shrewdly befriended those who were indebted to him. Jesus said he was wiser than some who are righteous.

But back to the main point of this verse.

Sharing friendship, offering sound advice, or helping our leaders is of greater benefit than

• yelling at them,

• accusing them, or

• belittling them in public.

I am concerned that our academia is teaching our university students how to become more activists than educated. To me, activists only know how to yell, accuse, and belittle.

Thankfully there is a segment of students going against this trend.

Why do I say “thankfully”?

Because

• giving of yourself,

• your time,

• your talent,

• your resources

results in more enduring results than asking for your “rights”, or rubbing the face of leaders in past mistakes.

Giving of yourself will result in a good leader (great men) seeking you out as opposed to those who accuse, demonstrate, and rale against good leaders.

Proverbs 18:17 (RSV) He who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

There is always more than one side to a story. Do not come to a conclusion until you have heard the other side.

That is why I don’t totally believe what the news media says. It is coming from one source with its own point of view and agenda.

That is why I don’t totally believe one professor’s opinion on a given subject.

That is why I don’t totally believe one preacher until I have verified it with my own meditation on the Scripture.

This may sound like I believe in the subjectivity of post modernism and that all is relative to what I have questioned and resolved by myself.

That is not true.

There are absolutes which have been gleaned from the ancients, from generations of science, and from observing nature. These have stood the test of time, numerous studies, and numerous sources thus shown to be true.

It is those ideas which come from one perspective, and come from human understanding, not eternal, spiritual wholeness that need to be questioned, researched, and looked at from different sides.

I remember one pastor being criticized because he researched creation from the evolution perspective, and the science behind creationism, philosophy, and psychology.

His response to the criticism was, “I want to know all sides of the issue, examine the spirit behind each one, and view them in the light of God’s truth not humanity’s truth.”

How wise.

Proverbs 18:18 (RSV) The lot puts an end to disputes and decides between powerful contenders.

The casting of lots seems like gambling to us today.

I liken it to the picking of the shorter straw when choosing baseball players for a team.

Or the coin toss at the beginning of a football game.

Deciding who was going first is immaterial to the onlooker as both sides are on par as contenders - one side does not deserve it over the other.

That is what was done in antiquity to pick between two equal contenders or decisions.

They believed the outcome of the stones was divinely guided. We would say it was by chance.

Today we vote on things. That is just another form of casting lots. If it is tied, we vote again, and again, and again until we get resolution.

But we must remember.

They did not have the guidance of the Holy Spirit like we do today.

In light of this, we need to be in constant prayer to hear what the Spirit has to say on the disputed matter. Even then, it may not be totally clear.

I think of the example of deciding who would replace Judas amongst the 12 apostles. The remaining 11 prayed, sought God’s Spirit in this, and found they were not all in agreement over two candidates.

They were both equal contenders in their understanding. They did not know about voting back then so they cast lots to resolve the issue.

Once he was chosen, we no longer hear about him. Instead, God chose a present and real enemy to be the apostle.

It was the transformed Saul with name change to Paul.

It seems to me that the Lord allows us to go ahead and chose to the best of our human understanding, but God has His plan mapped out even if it is in variance with our choice.

We need to be willing to see this, and accept this choice by the guidance of His Spirit.

In the mean time, choose by lot or vote, and carry on.

Proverbs 18:19 (RSV) A brother helped is like a strong city, but quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

A brother or a friend who is wounded by your words or your actions is hard to win back.

How many have left the fellowship of the church because of an offense. And not come back no matter how hard you try.

Whatever argument or persuasion you use, they know the counter argument or persuasion and use it.

It is like a fortified city or a barred gate. It seems you cannot get in to correct or apologize.

Their demeanour, their defense is so high the heart of flesh is hard to reach.

Or a wanderer in the family who has left because of disagreements.

We use to call them the “black sheep” of the family but that term tends to alienate them as being the “wrong” one while the rest are the “right” ones.

It doesn’t help. It just fortifies the walls more and strengthens the bars on the gate to their heart.

Or a colleague/worker who has been wrongfully dismissed or demoted by another.

Gaining back their trust is hard.

We can call it a “toxic environment”.

It creates division with the result that the workplace suffers, disputes are resolved through third party mitigation, unionization, or demonstration.

But when the conflict is resolved amicably, that brother or sister is a brother or sister for life!

Proverbs 18:20 (RSV) From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

I am reminded of the Scripture that says “man shall not live by bread alone but by every word which proceeds from the mouth of God”.

When wholesome words are spoken, both the speaker and the listener are refreshed and the soul is nourished.

It is the direct opposite of what the previous proverbs were sharing.

Today is Sunday.

Each Sunday, I receive a nourishing meal from the hands of my loving wife and partaking of it pleases my taste buds and my stomach.

I will also receive a nourishing meal of praise, prayer, and Scripture from the hands of my church worship team and pastor. And partaking of it pleases my soul, and nourishes my spirit.

Just as we know food nourishes our body, so the words spoken by brothers and sisters in Christ should nourish my inner being.

Proverbs 18:21 (RSV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

I like the way The Message states this- “Words kill, words give life; they are poison or fruit - you choose.”

How true.

Jesus said not to fear he who kills the body but he who kills the body and soul.

How do you kill a soul?

By words.

By teaching ideas which lead people away from the nourishment of God.

By saying something which crushes the spirit of the other.

As a trusted family member, friend, or teacher scoffing at the things of God.

It can be done unknowingly by people in authority.

When a person comes to a physician or teacher or church leader, they come in a vulnerable state. What is said can lead them astray, pierce the heart, or bruise the spirit.

The majority of the time they will internalize what you say and carry it for a long time, if not all their life.

Be careful what you say that it is fruit, not poison, because if you hurt one of these little ones, Jesus says it would be better that a millstone were tied around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.

That is horrible!

Choose to be fruit.

Proverbs 18:22 (RSV) He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.

Do you want to find favour with the Lord?

Find a good wife.

And once you find her, respect her, cherish her, help her, revere her just as you would the Lord.

Seeing your wife

• as a possession,

• as someone who submits to you by your command,

• as someone you can abuse or neglect

is not of God.

It is the devil at work.

A good wife, on the other hand, makes

• your worship to God,

• your reputation,

• your character,

complete and favourable.

God grants favour through our wives.

They are the ones through whom His favour comes.

They deserve our highest respect, honour, and love.

And the same applies to the wife -

“She who finds a husband is a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord”.

Proverbs 18:23 (RSV) The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly.

This verse does not fit with my view of those in today’s culture unless we redefine “poor” and “rich”.

The definition of “poor” would be those who are humble in spirit, poor in spirit, meek, hungering after the things of God, peacemakers -all the characteristics from Jesus’ sermon on the mount.

Whereas the word “rich” would be those who are arrogant in spirit, puffed up in spirit, proud, discarding or ignoring the things of God, and divisive by nature - all the opposite characteristics found in this same sermon.

Poor and rich has no reference to material wealth but to things of character and spirit.

Proverbs 18:24 (RSV) There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

How does the saying go?

You find out who your true friends are when crisis or times of need come.

Those friends are few during one’s lifetime and it surprises you who they are. They are more precious than gold.

And one who has found them is truly blessed.