Wasting Away of Body & Spirit

When I kept silent,


my bones wasted away


through my groaning all day long.


For day and night


your hand was heavy on me;


my strength was sapped


as in the heat of summer.


Then I acknowledged my sin to you


and did not cover up my iniquity.


I said, “I will confess


my transgressions to the LORD.”


And you forgave


the guilt of my sin. Ps 32:3-5

Verses 3 & 4 refer to the effect that hidden or denied sin has on one’s conscience/heart. You may ask, “How do you know it was David’s sin and not just depression?” Well, verse 5 says, “Then I acknowledged my sin…” Therefore we can conclude that the preceding verses refer to the effect sin had on David’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual life.

Hidden, suppressed, or denied sin affects our bodies as depression, anxiety, and other neurotic disorders. It wasted the bones of David and sapped all his energy. It weighed heavy upon his mind with troubled, negative thoughts which were relentless, persistent, and destructive. “Wasting away of bones” is an expression for feeling dead inside, tremulous inside, experiencing a dry mouth (not from medication, but from anxiety), restless, etc. He then expresses it further comparing the loss of energy/life with the effects of an extremely hot summer day on one’s energy…. Sin, to one who is sensitive to the Lord, is destructive and leads to death of the inner being, death of healthy thoughts, death of healthy emotions, and over time, physical death.

I hear people saying, but not all depression, anxiety, and loss of energy is the result of sin and I agree. But I fear that we use this truth as an escape clause too often so we do not have to deal with conscience. The symptoms of spiritual distress usually do not fully respond to medical therapy or if they do respond, the response is short lived. To me as a medical professional, this is a sure sign of an underlying spiritual problem.

When we experience what David describes, we have a choice.
1) Continue to deny we have sinned and experience the downward spiral to depression, overwhelming anxiety, despair of soul, and complete capture by demonic (destructive) thoughts.
Or
2) Do as David did by acknowledging his sin, and confessing it. The result of this simple act is God providing forgiveness and relief from guilt. If we consider this Psalm, it seems that David sought to clear his sin and relieve his symptoms by first seeking God and confessing as opposed to seeking physician help. Do we do the same today?

It continues to give me great sorrow of heart to see that we prefer the first solution more than the second solution. Human beings continue to “work it out on their own” and so deny that they have not obeyed their conscience. The result is wasted bones, dead inner being, and a plethora of other mental health disorders. We use medications to stop the overwhelming nature these symptoms have on our mind and our bodies with the hope that by lessening these symptoms, counselling and time can bring us onto the road back to healthy thinking and spiritual nurture. Some times this works but not always because there is no contrition (confessing) of having done wrong and accepting correction. If this does not occur, then we slowly destroy ourselves. An ultimate example of this is the request for physician assisted killing of our bodies. This holds true for over 90% of euthanasia requests according to present day studies. Statements such as, “I will not let Jesus have control of my life.” Or “You can read my favourite Psalms, but please do not pray.” Or “I am struggling with my conscience over what I was taught in Sunday School but it is not what I want to believe at this stage in my life.”

Denial, denial, denial. We are inundated with it today. We do not even know it!

But thanks be to God, there is a healing option. Acknowledge God’s power and sovereignty, acknowledge my sin and confess it. It amazes me that David did not say he was responsible to resolve his feelings of guilt and shame. That was the work of God. His responsibility was to acknowledge his sense of separation from God through sin. The guilt and the shame are resolved through the forgiveness of God. This message is very frightening to people and to medical professionals. Some medical professionals feel that feeling guilt and shame is to be medicated or to be down played. One medical resident, when confronted by a patient who stated she felt guilty for a past abortion, stated, “You should not feel guilty. It was not your fault.” This medical resident’s response shows the fact that denying the guilt of conscience was best… and then medication was prescribed to alleviate the symptoms. Whereas David, took the path of confession of sin, worked through it and found forgiveness.

The Bible text does not tell us how long this confession and resolution took. It could have occurred in a matter of minutes, a matter of hours, a matter of days, weeks. With today’s sin, I find that complete resolution can take years in some cases. We have to just walk along side them, prayerfully guiding them back to “God thoughts” and “God’s spirit” until that complete healing of conscience occurs and life given by the spirit is restored.

God’s way gives life back, a perfect “hiding place” in the midst of troubles and our hearts sing with songs of deliverance. God, may that be so in my life and in those whom I love.